You’ve read all there is about the nature of fear, feel it yourself and know deep down that it’s really False Evidence Appearing Real. But despite all of the learning you’ve done on this subject, you still feel it when you prefer it just leave you alone.
Just when are those times you feel fear?
- When you’re giving a major presentation and, for some people, it could be anytime you give it
- When you’re meeting someone new for the first time
- When you have to try something for the first time
- When eyes are on you and you need to perform
- Whenever your mind travels uncontrollably to endings that haven’t even happened
Examine your inner state closely and you’ll recognize that each time you felt fear, your mind was projecting to the future, of some outcome that did not yet manifest.
Outcome Dependence: your focus attaches to how a situation will turn out. The ending is so important to you that you begin to stress out. Your emotions become excessively invested and this paralyzes you on all levels. While you may still be able to perform, your potency diminishes as your energies are too wrapped up in having things turn out your way.
What can you do?
Take a few deep breaths and then…
Develop the habit of staying in the present moment. Let go of what could happen and focus on what you’re doing right now. Once you do that, give your all to what you’re engaged in and allow results to unfold. The more you try to control the situation, the more attached to the result you become.
“But I have to think about the future, it could cost my (fill in the blank for yourself)!” You say.
No you don’t. You have to perform to the best of your ability, in the moment, because the future hasn’t happened yet. And that future will be changing with every new moment you have. So, what you’re really trying to do is control an infinite amount of futures. Why give yourself the stress?
- Create your goal.
- Set your intention.
- Focus on your present moment.
- Give your all to the present moment.
- Experience the results.
When you function this way, you keep your mind clear and prepared to handle the unexpected, because the unexpected can always happen. It challenges you instead of crushes you. You become more resilient and willing to embrace what comes next.